board8fandomcom-20200216-history
(5)Noctis Lucis Caelum vs (12)Master Hand 2018
Ulti's Analysis Before I get into this match, I need to explain something in perfect detail. I loved Final Fantasy 15. I have the platinum trophy to prove it. I have my review to prove it. It's a fantastic video game from start to finish, even with that weird chapter where you need 18 keycards. The gameplay is great, the graphics are superb, the music is good, the scope is the best in the entire series, and most of the characters are fantastic. Most of the characters. Because Noctis is absolute gutter trash and is the exact example of the kind of guy no one likes in real life. This dude is born with a silver spoon in his mouth, gets handed everything for free, and we're supposed to sit around worshipping the ground he walks on because of his status as some prince. He gets handed infinite money. He gets handed a car that flies. He gets handed the hottest girl on the planet. He gets handed the best weapons in the world. He gets handed these awesome teammate bros. Fuck that. On top of all that, he's a whiny little bitch who literally starts crying the second life gets hard, gets bailed out again, then becomes a sensitive little bitch the second his boys slap the taste of his mouth for being a punk. What makes it worse is if this game was about any other character, it would have been perfect. Gladio is amazing. Ignis is one of the best sidekicks in RPG history. I adore Prompto. Lunafreya is awesome. Ardyn is damn cool. Even that chick with the boobs who does nothing more than flash boobs and pretend she knows her way around a car makes for a better main character than Noctis. I loved FF15's ending, because the little shit got exactly what he deserved. The type of people who like Noctis are the type of people involved in Celebrity Worship Syndrome and sit around reading about the British royal family all day. I get that your life didn't turn out like you wanted, but reading about Prince Harry and his doofus wife will not fix it. Put the gossip rag down and hit the gym. Speaking of getting the taste slapped out of his mouth, Master Hand was also in this match and this was a glorious result. Monika losing on the same day sucked, but getting two feels-good-bro calls right on the same day, one of which being Noctis getting absolutely pissed on, was so nice. Leading up to the match, things were 50-50, with the obvious comparison point being Master Hand vs Kuja: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/poll/2004-triforce-division-round-1-kuja-vs-master-hand And I'm just sitting here wondering why anyone had any faith in Noctis whatsoever. The dude is a garbage character and didn't have a prayer of being stronger than Kuja, let alone the character that beat Kuja in such hilarious fashion. Plus he was up against the Square Decline, Smash hype, and "if Monika gets rallied, her voters are clearly going to pick Master Hand". I had zero doubts Master Hand was winning, and given my bias in the match, it was glorious watching Noctis eat an Ulti-style destruction in a debated match. Fuck that guy. I love FF15, but Noctis is a very real and obvious blight. Lightning Strikes' Analysis What happened?: Part three in the Final Fantasy protagonist loses to a 90's mascot in a debated match trilogy (?), this was split down the middle in the general bracket results and our own, it seemed like a true tossup. Then the match started and Master Hand ran away with it immediately, with little change other than the standard Nintendo/Square trends. Despite beating Kuja Master Hand looked terrible in 2005 so Noctis should have won. But the meme came back to life, and Noctis lost as Kuja did to a goddamn hand. What does this mean?: Final Fantasy is screwed, especially against Nintendo. Master Hand is low tier Nintendo as far as we know, yet beat the best Square has given us for a decade. Add to that Zidane and Tidus losing what should have been close matches easily and it's a bad look for FF. This also further makes Lightning look not strong at all since I can't imagine she does better. Master Hand probably loses to Wario next round, which shows exactly where on the totem pole Noctis is. To be fair, Master Hand is probably better than in 2005 thanks to Ultimate and Nintendo being generally stronger, but still, Noctis looked dreadful here. It is now likely that Lightning and Squall are the only FF leads out of 7 to win their first match, with the former being due to a very lucky draw. Dante might double Lightning, Zelda is likely to beat Squall. This is a terrible contest for FF and a great one for Nintendo. Safer777's Analysis If I thought the previous match was hilarious this I don't even! Okay Noctis is from the newest main FF game. Fine. Master Hand is from Smash. Fine. But seriously? A Hand won? How? Yeah more votes I get it. Still I can't understand why this happened. I haven't played FF 15 yet so maybe Noctis suck as a character. I am not sure. But this much? I know we don't play new games here but seriously this match was pathetic for Noctis. I guess congrats to the Hand??? Sad day for FF. We got another main FF character losing in the 1st round too. Damn! Also both the gurus and the percentage was at around 50%! So that seems that half of the people had Noctis losing! This is so sad! I understand losing to a real character but this??? New Square sucks! Tsunami's Analysis Oh well never mind. I remember this match being a close one, but it clearly wasn't! Maybe I was thinking of the prediction percentage. 50.55% of brackets had this correct, the only Round 1 match to be within 51-49. (There was a Round 1 Legends match that had an even smaller spread in the Second Chance brackets, but all in good time.) This was Master Hand's first appearance in an "open" Character Contest, even considering how huge the field was in 2013, but he appeared in 2005's Villains Contest and upset a Final Fantasy character in Round 1 then, too. Though the prediction percentages say this technically wasn't an upset! Category:2018 Contest Matches